If Looks Could Kill Part 2

I'm finding that the outside world views me as that woman. You know the one. The one with the unruly children. The one who's children are bouncing off the wall, running around the store and the woman who's children are screaming in the middle of the restaurant and flailing around on the floor.

In my defense ... my kids are not like that. Honestly! We've always been able to take them into a restaurant and have a nice meal. Yes we have moments where we have to take them out of the restaurant until they can maintain some sort of composure. But all in all I have very well behaved, sensitive, well mannered two year olds. {Now if that ain't an oxymoron I don't know what is} Look, they're two! And there are two of them! So anytime people see us coming...they cringe. And to be quite honest ... It's starting to piss me off!

{I say that as kindly as I can}

Recently I started Weight Watchers {again}. I decided I would go to the Monday morning meeting and start my week off right. The first week the kids stayed with their Aunt and I went by myself. The second week I took them with me. I went in, weighed in, and thought "Oh, there is hardly anyone here. I'll stay for the meeting.". As the meeting began I sat there {in the very back corner} thinking I had this all wrapped up! After all, I'd brought Cheerios, milk and toys. Surely they would sit there and eat quietly. They did eat. What they didn't spill on the floor. And drink. And climb on the unoccupied chairs. And brought me every empty box found on the display shelf. And asked me what that was hanging on the wall like a million times at the top of their lungs.

{We haven't quite mastered the inside/outside voice thing yet}.

And then it happened. The woman at the front desk, you now the one....the one that takes your money. Yeah, her. Here she comes walking up to me in the middle of the meeting. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! I can see she's holding something in her hand. She doesn't even bother taking the empty seat next to me. She stands directly in front of me and using her best "Now Dear" voice she proceeds to inform me that on Fridays....wait for it.....there is a Mommy and Me meeting that they would love for me to attend.......wait for it......{there's more}.....and that during that meeting they don't care what the kids are doing.

I WAS FRICKING HUMILIATED!

And pissed off!

Does this woman work at Target? Is she married to that old coot who shot me the dirty look. Come on people! I just looked at her, took the paper, picked up the Cheerios off the floor, put the display back together, gathered my diaper bag, my keys ~ where the hell are my keys? And slowly walked out of the room in the middle of the meeting.

And do you know....the meeting leader didn't say a word!

I can only imagine what they all said after I left.

{If Looks Could Kill}

I'd be dead!

Let's face it. I have 2 year old twins. Need I say more?

Today in Target while standing in line to check out Jake started to melt down.

Delaney, thank GOD, sat next to him in the stroller just as quiet as a mouse while Jake threw a fit! I tried everything. His binky {I know}, his teddy, his Spider man, his sippy cup, his lunch and NOTHING would stop the nuclear melt down inside him. So I did what most moms would do...I smacked him. NOOOOOOOOOOO I'M JUST KIDDING!

I DIDN'T DO THAT!

I did ignore him, though. I mean honestly, what could I do. I was trying to get out of the store, but I was next in line and wasn't about to LEAVE! So I stood there kneeling down from time to time telling him to quiet. That we were on our way home and that if he was a good boy...yada, yada, yada. Well the next thing I knew the old man in line in front of me literally gave me the dirtiest look I've ever been given. Here I am trying everything in the book to get Jake to, basically, shut up and the man has the nerve to look at me like I'm dirt. Like I'm a horrible excuse for a parent and how dare I go out into the light of day with such a rotten, loud, noise making, excuse of spawn! There was no sympathy. No, I understand...I was/am a parent/grandparent. We all have those kind of moments/days. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

I get the evil eye!

I couldn't help myself. The moment he delivered his look of disgust I started laughing out loud. And instantly made the decision to let him scream! I could care less. I spend the majority of my time trying to keep my sanity. Worrying if others {STRANGERS} around me are being put out by my children that I don't focus long enough on one thing to enjoy the moment. So as the crotchety old coot took his receipt from the cashiers hand I looked down at Jake and said "Jake, Thank God he's not your grandpa!" loud enough for everyone to hear! Now, I know that's not much of a come back, but hey...... my kids are good kids, loud ~ yes, but goooooooood kids! And if you can't look at a child and see the good in them, even when they're having a melt down then you're the one with the problem. The only way it could have been better is if I walked out of the store behind him, Jake screaming the entire way, only to find out we were parked right next to each other!

Ironically, in that very same Target, only 2 weeks after delivering Jake & Delaney I strolled through the store with the babies and my mother. As a man, in his mid 50's, passed me he clearly said "WELL, HER LIFE IS OVER!"!!!! Only to get up to the register and have a little girl ask me about the babies and then promptly ask me if I had another baby in my tummy. NICE!

I think I need to find another Target!